Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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