i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize