Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
