This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
