do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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