can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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