Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
