So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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