As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
