Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
