She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
