sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
