Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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