Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
