I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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