Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
