This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
