He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think I sprained my soul last night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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