No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
