actually, I'm a sock model
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
