you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
