So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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