i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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