i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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