It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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