youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I puked a lego.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
