In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
