Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Randomize
