their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
