You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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