Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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