I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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