She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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