you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
