I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize