i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My pussy is not your playground.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.