It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.