I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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