What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
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THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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