Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
