i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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