My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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