i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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