So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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