hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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