i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
