As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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