So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
