Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
