I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
