in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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