It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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