all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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