dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize