this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize