You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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