the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
