Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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