I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
