Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize