I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
