so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
